After listening to the promises Pak made, my world had - all of a sudden – changed for the better. The next couple of weeks were spent smiling, instead of frowning about what a fuck all project I had ended up in.
Before I narrate what happened at the end of those “couple of weeks” – let me narrate what all stuff happened during those weeks, and a couple of events from the previous weeks.
Samesh Balluri had started this little movement called “Know the PespiCo account”. Basically, what he wanted was for everyone in the different projects in the account, to know what else was going on in the other teams. This would help people share their knowledge and also move to teams or projects of their interest. To cut a long story short, it was PR (public relations) ploy which was in effect a waste of everyone’s time – or atleast I felt so!
Just to give you a foreword, Samesh was very talented at fooling PespiCo people into giving Diapro huge contracts. But, hey, that was his job, and all I can say was that he was way too good at it! And thanks to his talents, there were one too many projects in the account. But, like all the overachievers, he was a victim to his own success. His success at getting a lot of projects had raised the expectation bar from his managers/seniors. And this had resulted in him trying to iron out every possible dollar for PespiCo folks in terms of getting new and new projects.
So, now, he was at this juncture where he was not able to get any more projects. That’s when the whole idea of “Know the PespiCo account” came into his head. This way, more people get to know about the different projects in the account and thereby, are able to identify which are the potential areas where we could get more business/projects. In short, Samesh employed the “Two heads are better than one!” concept on a larger scale. All this wrapped in a PR ploy. How much more shrewd can one get!
Samesh – Hats off to you mate!
So, now to the part that I hate. How Samesh planed to conduct these “Know the PespiCo account” sessions was by getting everyone in the team to stay back on Thursday’s (the meeting’s were scheduled to occur between 6.30 PM to 8 PM ) and getting people in the corresponding project to talk about their roles and the business scenarios they catered to. Kind of reminded me of my “Seminar” presentation back in college!
Now, I might be foolish enough to have fallen for his PR trick. But, even that was not going to be enough to convince me to stay after 6 pm. On asking around, I was told that if I bunked one-too-many sessions, Samesh would not be very happy, and this would show in terms of a messed up hike.
Working at Diapro instills a few things in you. And one of them is ***Not*** to expect anything in terms of monetary returns – be it hikes, or even salary for that matter. But, given that I was taking home around 9K odd bucks, the thought of pleasing Samesh and taking home that that extra 2 or 3 % (to be read as another 200 or 300 rupees) seemed romantic enough to convince me to stay for those brain fuck meetings.
Most of these meetings didn’t last more than 30 to 45 mins. But, if I were to wait for the company provided travel – I’d have to wait till 8.30 PM. But, personally speaking, I am not a very patient guy. And ergo, on Thursday’s I generally commute by my bike. This helps me get home as soon as the dumb meetings got over.
Oh … And no description of the meeting would be complete without mentioning what I used to do at these meetings. Heck, not just me – every there used to do the same thing – “Switch your brains off and Sleep with your eyes open!” Seriously, I mean it. For people who can’t fathom how to sleep with your eyes open – try enrolling yourselves for Engineering College. 4 years of listening to stupid old lecturers talking about stuff neither they, nor anyone else in the class, cared about can do wonders in terms of teaching you such wanton skills. Trust me – by year # 3 – it becomes second nature to any engineering student!
Ok … Back to the main story!
So … One of those weeks, my roomies had gone home for something. And staying alone is just not something I am very fond off. So, to kill time and beat boredom, I had decided to stay the week with my aunt.
By now, we were well into the second month of the stupid PR drill that Samesh had envisaged. On one of those Thursday’s, the meeting got extended beyond 8.30 PM. Supposedly, the person at onsite was completely “involved” in the presentation and didn’t notice that we had overshot the stipulated time frame. But, trust me when I say, everyone else in the room – except ofcourse the managers and ofcourse Samesh Balluri himself – were irritated to the core at the idiot at onsite going on and on and on about how great his project was and how we could get more business by offering certain “extra modules” to the existing application.
To be honest – in my mind, I had already killed the onsite bugger by running him over by a Paandi lorry!!! (@#$@#%$#@$#$@#$@#)
But, to cut a long story short, since the managers were still there – we had no choice but to stay back.
At the end of the meeting – which by the way wrapped up at around 8.50 PM – everyone had missed the last Diapro shuttle, and the only way out was to wait till 10 PM – because that’s when they could take the company provided Cab service.
Thankfully for me, I had my bike. Translated it meant – unlike the losers who’d have to wait till 10 o clock, I’d be leaving right now.
Just as I was about to leave, Sujatha raps me on the shoulders and asks
Suj: “Aren’t you staying at Kodambakkam”
Me: “I stay at Guindy. But this week, I’m staying with at my aunts’ place at Kodambakkam.”
Suj: “Oh … Ok … You’ve got a bike right?
Me: “Yeah …”
Suj: “Are you heading home now?”
Me: “You bet I am …”
Suj: “Oh good … Then can you give me a lift please?”
This was the first time I had heard Sujatha speak so nicely to me. And just for that reason I said “Yes”
Suj: “Great … you get your bike and wait by the main gate. I’ll just get my stuff and come.”
Me: “Fine … Just don’t delay it. I’m not too fond of waiting.”
That said - I headed over to the canteen for a quick snack. And yes – I knew that if Suj did indeed rush to her place get her stuff and head to the main gate, she’d end up having to wait for me. “Serves her right!!! After all – she had not been very nice to me over the last 3 – 4 months. Let her wait for some time!!!” was what was going through my mind.
But, after a nice and relaxed snack, I got my bike and headed over to the main gate – No Sujatha. “What the fuck??? Where is she??? Maybe she left! I should probably call her to confirm that. Then, I can leave without spoiling the relationship even more!”
So, I pick up the phone and dial her number.
Me: “Sujatha. I’m at the main gate. Where are you?”
Suj: “Oh … I’m so sorry … I had to send out a couple of e-mails. I’ll just come out in 5 minutes! Please do wait?”
What the heck … I had spent a good 15 mins at the canteen just to tick her off. And it turns off – the little rascal had completely forgotten that I was “probably” waiting for her at the main gate. Heck – I think she was trying to tick me off!!!
But, since she didn’t know that I had not been waiting for her for the last 15 minutes’, I decided to use it to my advantage!
(Sly me eh!!!)
Me: “What??? I told you I am not very fond of waiting. I’ve been waiting for the last 15 minutes now. Please – just come right now! You can send your mails in the morning!”
Suj: “Sorry … But these are important client mails. I have to send them before I leave. Just give me 5 more minutes’ man!
Me: “Can’t you hitch a ride with someone else?”
Suj: “Ok … Ok … I’m done … I’m coming … Just need to grab my stuff!”
Me: “Oh … Whatever!!!”
I still had to wait another 5 minutes before she came out. My guess is that, she told me that she’s heading out and then continued with her e-mail. Grrrrrrrrrrr … I felt like a total looooooooooooooser!!!
Moving on …
When Suj finally did come, it was a really weird sight. Let me take a moment of your imagination to describe how it looked. Ever seen people selling plastic wares (door to door sales i.e.)? They’re the ones who generally carry stuff in both hands, another big basket on their head and yet another basket on their shoulder.
What I was seeing was pretty much the same minus the head load. Seriously, on her shoulders - she was carrying this huuuuuuuuuuge black purse of hers. One hand clung on to a huuuuuuuuuuuuge lunch bag. Another bag was clutching on similarly huge linen bag.
At this sight – I was left wondering – “Why in the world did I say - yes … I’ll give you a ride!!!”
But, that’s not the end of it. Let me describe Sujatha’s stature. She’s about 5.2”. My bike was about 4 feet high. As you can guess – she’d probably need a ladder to climb on to that – especially with that much load. So, guess what – I ended up having to hold on to her luggage – then help her onto the bike.
Sujatha – like a champ – was sitting at the farthest possible spot on the bike. For those who ride 2 wheelers with a pillion, I’m sure you’ll understand that making you pillion sit away from you is inviting disaster. For those who don’t know – the farther you sit from the rider, the more unstable your bike becomes (Centre of Gravity concept).
And thanks to Sujatha’s stature – I had a bad feeling that my bike was just about to perform a wheelie. For the uneducated – a wheelie is when a 2 wheeler drives on just one wheel. In layman’s terms – my bike’s rear end was so bloody overloaded that it was about to flip backside!!!
The only way to resolve it was to ask her to move closer to the center of the seat.
Me: “Could you move a little closer to me?”
Suj: “Why? I’m comfortable here!”
I hope you’ll all understand when I say – I was thinking - “I’m comfortable here!! You little idiot … I have a good mind to push you off the bike and just leave! No girl has ever gotten on my bike … Why did I have to start by giving this bitch a ride!!!”
Me: “Sujatha. If you don’t move closer to the center, it becomes very difficult to drive as the bike is very unstable when pillion sits far off from the rider!”
Suj: “Fine …”
With this she moves an inch closer. I thought she doesn’t have enough space to move closer and that my backpack could be the possible culprit.
Me: “Hey … Do you want me to remove my backpack so that you can be more comfortable?”
Suj: “No … Why’d you want to do that. I’m comfortable as I am. Please just drive!”
With this statement – she placed her big fat purse between us. The reaction that evoked was what made me realize that she probably smelt a rat. Now, I not only had a hurt ego, but also a big fat ladies purse poking into my spine!
I’d lost interest in arguing with her. I was too tired and fed up to fight. So, I just started the engine and teed off.
To be honest, for the first 10 minutes of the drive, I was just thinking to myself – “How the hell did she think I was trying to hit on her … Worse – take advantage of her riding with me!”
Finally, to soothe my ego – It ended up as “I have better tastes you know … I’m not that fucking desperate!!!”
But, justice be done, I wouldn’t blame Suj for thinking like that. After all, I was a renowned flirt in the account. And she had every right to misinterpret my goodwill gestures!
Anyways … A few minutes into the drive, I tried to make small talk. You know – the regular stuff. What do you do over weekends, your interests, etc, etc, etc … Initially she was hesitant in talking, but a little prod here and a little coaxing there ended up opening Suj up. By the end of the drive, she was talking freely and even laughing – Now that’s something I never saw coming.
:D
So, finally, as we came close to Kodambakkam, I asked her
Me: “Where’s your house? I’ll drop you there.”
Suj: “That’s okay … Just drop me off at the corner near the Supermarket. I’ll walk home from there!”
Maybe I hated her guts. But, it was around 9.30 by the time we got to Kodambakkam. And the chivalry and gentlemanliness in me didn’t allow me to drop her at some place where I wasn’t 101% sure about her safety. I mean … I just wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something had happened to anyone I’d just given a lift – just because I was lazy to not drop them off at their door steps which was probably a few hundred meters away!
Me: “Sujatha … I am not very comfortable leaving you at such a place and that too at this time of the day. If you don’t mind, I’ll leave you at your flat itself.”
Suj: “It’s okay … Really!!!”
Thanks to the event earlier on, I somehow thought that she didn’t trust me and that why she didn’t want to tell me where exactly she lived. Maybe she thought I was a stalker or something!
:(
Me: “Please … I insist … I won’t even ask for coffee!!!”
Suj: “Well … In that case … If you’re ok with it – take the next left!”
A couple of left and rights, and we finally reached her flat. I, obviously, had to help her get off the bike as well.
Me: “Goodnight … See you at work!”
Suj: “Why don’t you come up? My mom makes the best coffee!”
Me: (with a smile) “I promised I won’t ask for coffee! Maybe next time”
Suj: “Ha ha ha … Ok then … See you tomorrow!”
Me: “Bye then …”
And I zipped away to my aunts’ place.
After that night, the way Sujatha started behaving with me changed drastically. She no longer gave me a shmuck look. Where there used to be a look of disgust, there was always a smile.
I guess my act of chivalry made her realize and feel that I’m not all that bad after all. From that point, my friendship with Sujatha grew leaps and bounds. And today – she’s my best friend, as I am hers!
:)
Suj … Thanks for being there for me during all those crisis moments!!!
(Ok … Before I get ultra mushy and start crying, I better move on to the next chapters!)
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Liar Liar - starring Pakhir Siddick
If I remember right, it was a Wednesday when I went to talk to Pak about my dilemma. But, as managers always are, he was expecting me. I walked into his cube around 11 am.
Me: “Pak … You got a minute?”
Pak: Sure … Sit down!”
Me: “Thanks …”
Pak: “What’s this about?”
I knew the bugger was feigning innocence; after all, it was just the previous day that Vrunda had asked me to talk to Pak about my concerns.
Me: “Well … It’s about the project I am in right now.”
Pak: “What about it?”
Me: “Well … Honestly – I don’t think I fit into the project. And to be even blunter, I want a release from the project!!!”
Pak: (With a completely shocked look on his face) “What are you saying? You’ve just been on this project for 4 months now. You can’t do this to me!”
His astonished look and the way he put his statements (“You can’t do this to me!”) made me go on my back foot.
Me: “I mean Pak … You see … This project is not helping me meet my career goals!”
Pak: “What goals?”
Me: “Well … I want to be in a project with scope for growth, which is very challenging, potential for recognition, and a good chance of landing me onsite! And honestly speaking, I don’t see any of those happening whilst I am on this project!”
Pak: “That’s not true. This is an excellent project.”
Me: (Slightly irritated at his stubbornness) “Maybe to you … But, I beg to differ on your viewpoint!”
Pak was a manager, and he knew better than to argue with me when I was in an agitated and irritated state. Instead, he knew the best solution was to cajole me, and that’s precisely what he did.
Pak: “See … It’s not a big deal getting into a development project. Just take a look at your friends here who are on DEV projects. They’re sweating their ass out. No sleep, no rest. Just work, work and more work. Is that what you want to get into?”
Me: “Well … I do agree to the point that they’re overworked, but they’re learning a lot of things I am not, and probably will never learn as long as I am on this project!”
Pak: “Oh … So I see, you want to learn is it. That can be solved without you having to leave the project.”
Me: “What are you talking about Pak?”
Pak: “Well … You wanted to learn stuff. There are so many internal projects we have going on in our account … I will put you as a LEAD DEVELOPER into one of those projects. That will help you learn all the latest technologies, and even a good amount of application designing and architecture.”
Muhahahaha … If Pak had done his bit of preparation and rehearsals, so had I. I knew he would try to smoulder me saying he’d put me on some stupid internal projects.
For the Non-IT crowd reading this, you probably don’t know what an Internal Project is. I’ve written in detail about that in one of my earlier chapters. Please scan back and check the same. But if you, like me, are just too lazy to do that and just want to know what the heck it means – just understand it’s a waste of ones time!!!
By now, I had become very bold (read as I was no longer bothered about trying not to offend him with my statements)
Me: “Pak … No offense meant. But, I don’t want to play any part in any of the internal projects here. At the risk of sounding rude - I’ve been onboard long enough to know that none of those projects ever take off!!!”
Pak: “How can you say that … I don’t know whether you have heard of Diapro Invoice Processing System? It is a very complex internal project that we are using!”
Me: “Ummmm … Pak … I was a developer on that project. And by the time we finished something in the project, the clients changed their billing standards and our application was scraped.”
Pak: (With a stupid look on his face, caressing his beard) “Hmmmmmmm …“
Me: “Do you have any idea how irritating and heartbreaking it is to have your 1.5 months effort scrapped without even telling you about it!!!”
Pak: “But, if clients change their business, we have no other way but to accept it.”
He went to on tell me the regular manager stuff like – “Change is the only thing that is constant” and that “One needs to adapt to change, else you’re wiped out like a slate”. I wouldn’t blame him for saying stuff like this. He was a manager, and the only things managers say is nonsensical, doesn’t-make-any-sense, bullshit like this!!!
Me: “Whatever Pak … If it were a billable client project, I don’t think things like would happen. Plus, since the requirements are a lot stricter, I get to learn a lot more things than I ever would on an internal project.”
I was building my case very well, and it was Pak who was going on his back-foot. I wanted to pat myself on my back for the wonderful job.
But, again, I repeat – Pak was a manager. And one of the manager’s key skills is to offer a fucked-up alternative solution and portray it as the best thing that could happen to me. After all, that’s how they convince all those million dollar clients to give us millions of dollars in terms of project revenue!
Pak: “What if I put you on a billable DEV project?”
Me: “I’m listening … Please tell me your plan.”
Pak: “There are a lot of billable projects going on. I can put you as a shadow resource in one of the projects. That way, you can work on those projects, and still remain billable in your current role!”
For those who don’t know what a shadow resource is, let me take a moment to explain.
To win a project/contract, our managers tell the customer that a certain project work – which would need 6 months development effort using a team of 20 skilled developers – can be done using 15 developers in 3 months time.
From the client’s perspective, they save up a lot on the billing costs. (Just a simple calc will tell you that!). And from Diapro management perspective, they’ve just sealed a contract – which means a lot more influx of cash. (But - I am tempted to say - from a developer perspective, it means HELL!!!)
Now, you’d probably wondering how does one manage to finish a project that would ordinarily take 6 months and 20 people working on it in 3 months and that too using 15 developers. This is where the shadow resources kick in. These people work on the project – unknown or known to the client – but do not get “billed”. Since these people are based of India, and also keeping in mind that Diapro pays us peanuts anyways – the extra cost incurred is negligible as compared to the risk of having lost to a competitor like Accenture or IBM.
By now, you’ve probably understood how we end up having the 20 resources needed for the project (15 Billable and 5 Shadow), but, I presume you’re wondering how 6 months work is done in 3 months or less.
Hmmmmmmm …. Good question … Let me try to explain in a lighter tone. Everyone must have done or atleast seen kids catching dragonflies and making them lift tiny pebbles. Some of the crueler kids make the dragonflies lift large boulders. Let me just say – those kids end up as excellent managers, and the poor dragonfly ends up as a software developer!!!
Now … Back to main story!
Me: “Sounds good to me. But, please, I don’t want to be put in some silly support or enhancement projects.”
Pak: “Don’t worry about that. I will put you in good development projects. But, I warn you, it would mean you’ll have to stretch and come on Saturday’s and Sunday’s.” (With a discouraging tone)
Me: “I would be happy to do that – As long as I am learning something out of these projects!”
Pak: “Just you wait. I will blow your mind with so much of work that you’ll come running to me and beg to have you released from the shadow resource roles.”
Me: “I can assure you that will not happen!”
Pak: “Let’s see about that!!!” (With a wicked grin)
By now, Pak had partly diffused the situation. I was ready to head back content with the answer, or solution as I would like to think of it, I had gotten from him.
But, I knew that Porrotta Systems Baseline Support was a shit hole. And that too a very stinking one!
So, I decided – not to fall for his managerial tricks, and to persist in my efforts and see if I could get released somehow or the other.
Me: “But Pak … that still leaves us with this project not meeting my other goals!”
Pak: “See … Once you start working on these DEV projects, and you work hard and smart enough, recognitions and promotions will come on its own!”
Damn … He had played a very smart move. I had to make a counter move soon. Else – It was check mate. And I knew precisely the trick!
Me: “It’s not the recognition I am worried about. What about me getting to go onsite. This project has a 1 year commitment. I see all my friends and batch mates and even people who joined after me flying onsite. I don’t want this project to be an iron that weighs me down when everyone is flying to abroad and making tons of cash.”
Pak: “Don’t worry about that all. Just give me a maximum of 3 months, and I will send you onsite from Porrotta Systems Baseline Support itself. Take my word for it.”
I was at a loss for words!!! I didn’t think it was possible. But, now that Pak had assured me he would send me onsite from the same project, things suddenly started looking very green.
Me: “Wow … Music to my ears! But Pak, just curious, Mandhya and Vrunda handle all the activities onsite. How do you intend to send me onsite from Porrotta Systems Baseline Support? I personally don’t see any way out”
Pak: “Why do you want to worry yourself with unnecessary things? Leave those things to me. Just understand that in another 3 to 4 months you will be flying abroad! That’s all I can assure you!”
Me: “Works with me Pak. Thanks for everything. So, just to recap, you’ll give me a notification on which DEV project I can go into in another 2 to 3 weeks time, and you’ve just told me that in another 3 – 4 months you’ll send me onsite.”
Pak: “Yup … That’s right!”
Me: “Thanks once again for your time Pak. This meeting has done a great deal to boost my morale.”
Pak: “I feel like a Shrink. But, glad to be of help?”
I hadn’t heard the term Shrink. And thinking it was something offensive or rude, I decided to pick a bone with him.
Me: “Shrink Pak???” (In a very questioning tone)
Pak: “You don’t know what a Shrink is?”
Me: “Well … No!”
Pak: “Well … They’re a sect of psychiatrist who helps people by listening to their problems and suggesting solution to resolve their issues”
Me: “Oh … Like that … So – you’re telling me I’m a nut eh?” (In a joking, more of teasing, fashion)
Pak: “Ha ha … Come on – I didn’t mean that Sharath!” (In a panicky tone!)
Me: “No worries Pak. I was just kidding.”
Pak: “Fine then … See you around!”
Me: “You too … Have a nice day ahead!”
With that, the first thing I wanted to do was to call Savita up and tell her about the news. After all, she was one of the key people who had motivated me to talk to Pak about wanting an Impromptu release.
Me: “Savita … I just spoke to Pak about my release … “
Savita: “And???”
Me: “You Guess???”
Savita: “What’s there to guess? He would’ve said No – You can’t do this to me!”
Me: “How’d you know?”
Savita: “He told me the same thing when I asked for a release after 2.9 years in the same project”
Me: “Oh … But hey … I’ve got good news. I grilled him and he agreed to send me onsite in 3 to 4 months. And in the meanwhile, he agreed to put me as a shadow resource in one of the many good DEV projects here.”
Savita: “Woooooooooooooooow … That is indeed good news. Congrats man!!!”
Although she was congratulating me, there was a tone of jealousy and anger in her tone. Maybe it was because she had been on the same project for over 3 years and had never gotten any assurances like this from Pak. Whereas, I was just 4 months into the project and I had already been assured an overseas opportunity by the senior manager in the account.
But, honestly, I didn’t give a damn what she felt. I was on top of the world, and I was planning to stay there!
Me: “Thanks a lot for the motivation to go and face Pak.”
Savita: “Anytime man.”
Me: “I better get going … I have to celebrate this.”
Savita: “Oh … Ok … Have a rocking time dude!”
Me: “Sure thing Savita … Once again – Thanks a zillion!”
Savita: “No problemo. What are friends for after all?”
Me: “Yeah … Correct. Bye then!”
With that said, I disconnected the call, got on my bike and raced home. En route, I bought a whole lot of beers for myself and my room mates. We had a gala time celebrating the news. My friends were teasing me about finally getting to go to the “United State of America” – the land of opportunity and more importantly horny babes! We were talking about how I might get “lucky” – If you know what I mean!!!
Boy – Was I in for a fucking surprise 2 months down the road!!!
Me: “Pak … You got a minute?”
Pak: Sure … Sit down!”
Me: “Thanks …”
Pak: “What’s this about?”
I knew the bugger was feigning innocence; after all, it was just the previous day that Vrunda had asked me to talk to Pak about my concerns.
Me: “Well … It’s about the project I am in right now.”
Pak: “What about it?”
Me: “Well … Honestly – I don’t think I fit into the project. And to be even blunter, I want a release from the project!!!”
Pak: (With a completely shocked look on his face) “What are you saying? You’ve just been on this project for 4 months now. You can’t do this to me!”
His astonished look and the way he put his statements (“You can’t do this to me!”) made me go on my back foot.
Me: “I mean Pak … You see … This project is not helping me meet my career goals!”
Pak: “What goals?”
Me: “Well … I want to be in a project with scope for growth, which is very challenging, potential for recognition, and a good chance of landing me onsite! And honestly speaking, I don’t see any of those happening whilst I am on this project!”
Pak: “That’s not true. This is an excellent project.”
Me: (Slightly irritated at his stubbornness) “Maybe to you … But, I beg to differ on your viewpoint!”
Pak was a manager, and he knew better than to argue with me when I was in an agitated and irritated state. Instead, he knew the best solution was to cajole me, and that’s precisely what he did.
Pak: “See … It’s not a big deal getting into a development project. Just take a look at your friends here who are on DEV projects. They’re sweating their ass out. No sleep, no rest. Just work, work and more work. Is that what you want to get into?”
Me: “Well … I do agree to the point that they’re overworked, but they’re learning a lot of things I am not, and probably will never learn as long as I am on this project!”
Pak: “Oh … So I see, you want to learn is it. That can be solved without you having to leave the project.”
Me: “What are you talking about Pak?”
Pak: “Well … You wanted to learn stuff. There are so many internal projects we have going on in our account … I will put you as a LEAD DEVELOPER into one of those projects. That will help you learn all the latest technologies, and even a good amount of application designing and architecture.”
Muhahahaha … If Pak had done his bit of preparation and rehearsals, so had I. I knew he would try to smoulder me saying he’d put me on some stupid internal projects.
For the Non-IT crowd reading this, you probably don’t know what an Internal Project is. I’ve written in detail about that in one of my earlier chapters. Please scan back and check the same. But if you, like me, are just too lazy to do that and just want to know what the heck it means – just understand it’s a waste of ones time!!!
By now, I had become very bold (read as I was no longer bothered about trying not to offend him with my statements)
Me: “Pak … No offense meant. But, I don’t want to play any part in any of the internal projects here. At the risk of sounding rude - I’ve been onboard long enough to know that none of those projects ever take off!!!”
Pak: “How can you say that … I don’t know whether you have heard of Diapro Invoice Processing System? It is a very complex internal project that we are using!”
Me: “Ummmm … Pak … I was a developer on that project. And by the time we finished something in the project, the clients changed their billing standards and our application was scraped.”
Pak: (With a stupid look on his face, caressing his beard) “Hmmmmmmm …“
Me: “Do you have any idea how irritating and heartbreaking it is to have your 1.5 months effort scrapped without even telling you about it!!!”
Pak: “But, if clients change their business, we have no other way but to accept it.”
He went to on tell me the regular manager stuff like – “Change is the only thing that is constant” and that “One needs to adapt to change, else you’re wiped out like a slate”. I wouldn’t blame him for saying stuff like this. He was a manager, and the only things managers say is nonsensical, doesn’t-make-any-sense, bullshit like this!!!
Me: “Whatever Pak … If it were a billable client project, I don’t think things like would happen. Plus, since the requirements are a lot stricter, I get to learn a lot more things than I ever would on an internal project.”
I was building my case very well, and it was Pak who was going on his back-foot. I wanted to pat myself on my back for the wonderful job.
But, again, I repeat – Pak was a manager. And one of the manager’s key skills is to offer a fucked-up alternative solution and portray it as the best thing that could happen to me. After all, that’s how they convince all those million dollar clients to give us millions of dollars in terms of project revenue!
Pak: “What if I put you on a billable DEV project?”
Me: “I’m listening … Please tell me your plan.”
Pak: “There are a lot of billable projects going on. I can put you as a shadow resource in one of the projects. That way, you can work on those projects, and still remain billable in your current role!”
For those who don’t know what a shadow resource is, let me take a moment to explain.
To win a project/contract, our managers tell the customer that a certain project work – which would need 6 months development effort using a team of 20 skilled developers – can be done using 15 developers in 3 months time.
From the client’s perspective, they save up a lot on the billing costs. (Just a simple calc will tell you that!). And from Diapro management perspective, they’ve just sealed a contract – which means a lot more influx of cash. (But - I am tempted to say - from a developer perspective, it means HELL!!!)
Now, you’d probably wondering how does one manage to finish a project that would ordinarily take 6 months and 20 people working on it in 3 months and that too using 15 developers. This is where the shadow resources kick in. These people work on the project – unknown or known to the client – but do not get “billed”. Since these people are based of India, and also keeping in mind that Diapro pays us peanuts anyways – the extra cost incurred is negligible as compared to the risk of having lost to a competitor like Accenture or IBM.
By now, you’ve probably understood how we end up having the 20 resources needed for the project (15 Billable and 5 Shadow), but, I presume you’re wondering how 6 months work is done in 3 months or less.
Hmmmmmmm …. Good question … Let me try to explain in a lighter tone. Everyone must have done or atleast seen kids catching dragonflies and making them lift tiny pebbles. Some of the crueler kids make the dragonflies lift large boulders. Let me just say – those kids end up as excellent managers, and the poor dragonfly ends up as a software developer!!!
Now … Back to main story!
Me: “Sounds good to me. But, please, I don’t want to be put in some silly support or enhancement projects.”
Pak: “Don’t worry about that. I will put you in good development projects. But, I warn you, it would mean you’ll have to stretch and come on Saturday’s and Sunday’s.” (With a discouraging tone)
Me: “I would be happy to do that – As long as I am learning something out of these projects!”
Pak: “Just you wait. I will blow your mind with so much of work that you’ll come running to me and beg to have you released from the shadow resource roles.”
Me: “I can assure you that will not happen!”
Pak: “Let’s see about that!!!” (With a wicked grin)
By now, Pak had partly diffused the situation. I was ready to head back content with the answer, or solution as I would like to think of it, I had gotten from him.
But, I knew that Porrotta Systems Baseline Support was a shit hole. And that too a very stinking one!
So, I decided – not to fall for his managerial tricks, and to persist in my efforts and see if I could get released somehow or the other.
Me: “But Pak … that still leaves us with this project not meeting my other goals!”
Pak: “See … Once you start working on these DEV projects, and you work hard and smart enough, recognitions and promotions will come on its own!”
Damn … He had played a very smart move. I had to make a counter move soon. Else – It was check mate. And I knew precisely the trick!
Me: “It’s not the recognition I am worried about. What about me getting to go onsite. This project has a 1 year commitment. I see all my friends and batch mates and even people who joined after me flying onsite. I don’t want this project to be an iron that weighs me down when everyone is flying to abroad and making tons of cash.”
Pak: “Don’t worry about that all. Just give me a maximum of 3 months, and I will send you onsite from Porrotta Systems Baseline Support itself. Take my word for it.”
I was at a loss for words!!! I didn’t think it was possible. But, now that Pak had assured me he would send me onsite from the same project, things suddenly started looking very green.
Me: “Wow … Music to my ears! But Pak, just curious, Mandhya and Vrunda handle all the activities onsite. How do you intend to send me onsite from Porrotta Systems Baseline Support? I personally don’t see any way out”
Pak: “Why do you want to worry yourself with unnecessary things? Leave those things to me. Just understand that in another 3 to 4 months you will be flying abroad! That’s all I can assure you!”
Me: “Works with me Pak. Thanks for everything. So, just to recap, you’ll give me a notification on which DEV project I can go into in another 2 to 3 weeks time, and you’ve just told me that in another 3 – 4 months you’ll send me onsite.”
Pak: “Yup … That’s right!”
Me: “Thanks once again for your time Pak. This meeting has done a great deal to boost my morale.”
Pak: “I feel like a Shrink. But, glad to be of help?”
I hadn’t heard the term Shrink. And thinking it was something offensive or rude, I decided to pick a bone with him.
Me: “Shrink Pak???” (In a very questioning tone)
Pak: “You don’t know what a Shrink is?”
Me: “Well … No!”
Pak: “Well … They’re a sect of psychiatrist who helps people by listening to their problems and suggesting solution to resolve their issues”
Me: “Oh … Like that … So – you’re telling me I’m a nut eh?” (In a joking, more of teasing, fashion)
Pak: “Ha ha … Come on – I didn’t mean that Sharath!” (In a panicky tone!)
Me: “No worries Pak. I was just kidding.”
Pak: “Fine then … See you around!”
Me: “You too … Have a nice day ahead!”
With that, the first thing I wanted to do was to call Savita up and tell her about the news. After all, she was one of the key people who had motivated me to talk to Pak about wanting an Impromptu release.
Me: “Savita … I just spoke to Pak about my release … “
Savita: “And???”
Me: “You Guess???”
Savita: “What’s there to guess? He would’ve said No – You can’t do this to me!”
Me: “How’d you know?”
Savita: “He told me the same thing when I asked for a release after 2.9 years in the same project”
Me: “Oh … But hey … I’ve got good news. I grilled him and he agreed to send me onsite in 3 to 4 months. And in the meanwhile, he agreed to put me as a shadow resource in one of the many good DEV projects here.”
Savita: “Woooooooooooooooow … That is indeed good news. Congrats man!!!”
Although she was congratulating me, there was a tone of jealousy and anger in her tone. Maybe it was because she had been on the same project for over 3 years and had never gotten any assurances like this from Pak. Whereas, I was just 4 months into the project and I had already been assured an overseas opportunity by the senior manager in the account.
But, honestly, I didn’t give a damn what she felt. I was on top of the world, and I was planning to stay there!
Me: “Thanks a lot for the motivation to go and face Pak.”
Savita: “Anytime man.”
Me: “I better get going … I have to celebrate this.”
Savita: “Oh … Ok … Have a rocking time dude!”
Me: “Sure thing Savita … Once again – Thanks a zillion!”
Savita: “No problemo. What are friends for after all?”
Me: “Yeah … Correct. Bye then!”
With that said, I disconnected the call, got on my bike and raced home. En route, I bought a whole lot of beers for myself and my room mates. We had a gala time celebrating the news. My friends were teasing me about finally getting to go to the “United State of America” – the land of opportunity and more importantly horny babes! We were talking about how I might get “lucky” – If you know what I mean!!!
Boy – Was I in for a fucking surprise 2 months down the road!!!
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