The remaining 15 days were spent in pretty much the same fashion.
• 9 am to 5 pm - At work
• 5 pm to 6.30 pm - Traveling back home
• 6.30 pm to 10.0 pm – Meeting up with friends and batch mates at Forum (I had fallen in love with the place by then)
• 10.00 pm – 1 am – Booooooooooze myself senseless
But yeah, a few interesting things did happen during my 15 days at Bangalore. It’ll be greatest injustice to this book if I didn’t speak about them. Let’s get straight to em – one after the other.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
At the Diapro Bangalore Campus – Day 1
I had heard all my friends at Bangalore bitch about the traffic blocks en route to Electronic City. Today, just 20 mins into my travel to work, I was one of them. I was bitching away to glory.
Well, let me give you some perspective as what made me do that. I had been sitting in the auto for a good 20 mins and guess how much we had moved – less than a kilometer. And, to add to the agony, there were huge company buses trying to wriggle their way through a jungle of grid locked vehicles – thereby making the traffic scenarios even worse. Not that I cared about the others stuck in the traffic block, but the stupid bus right next to my rickshaw was blowing exhaust right at my face. And heck – that was not even a new Volvo bus. It was some godforsaken Ashok Leyland primate spewing out thick black smoke. For a second there I was contemplating kicking the buses driver, but when I saw him (he was a 6 foot muscular youngster) I thought I’d rather forgive him.
;)
A few MI-2 style moves from the auto driver and 40 mins later, I was at the Diapro Bangalore campus. And I must saw – I was awestruck by the sheer magnitude of the spread. I knew that it was the largest Diapro campus in India, but this was way beyond what I had imagined.
And to add to this awe, there were good looking babes practically crawling all over the place. This was a luxury I didn’t have at Diapro Chennai. The girls there made you want to cry – nothing more, nothing less!!!
“Thank you god for this wondrous opportunity!!!” With this prayer said, I headed over to SDB – 17 to meet Savita (stands for Software Development Block 17).
When I called her from the reception, she said she was on level 4, and that she would meet me at the lounge there. “Heck … she isn’t pretty anyways … who cares where she meets me!!!” With that thought, I head up for our first rendezvous.
And true to my thought, a not-so-hot babe met me at the lounge.
Me: “Savita???”
Savita: “Sharath right … Welcome to Bangalore!”
Me: “Thanks … Bangalore rocks!”
Savita: “Yeah … I know!”
Me: “You’ve been here for long?”
Savita: “Yeah … about 2 yrs now … Hey – we should be heading inside and getting started!”
Me: (thinking) “Stupid bum … I’m trying to break the ice here, and all she can think of is work … what a lame babe … Bet she doesn’t have a social life!!!”
Ok … Maybe I was thinking rude thoughts. But in my defense – I had just got here, it had hardly been 2 mins since we met, and I was taking all the effort to make chit-chat – and all she was concerned with was work? I mean – it’s not like we were doctors or nuclear scientist … We were boring software professionals!!!
“Heck – no point in fighting her. I just got here. Lets play along” and I trailed along with her in the lead.
I don’t want to get into the events of the rest of the day simply because nothing major (read as fun) happened. It was just the regular Knowledge Transition where she “taught” me about the application and the sort of work I would be doing in a month’s time. Honestly speaking – I wasn’t even listening to her. My mind was full of “other” questions – “Where do I go sight-seeing in the evening?” “Are there are hot clubs I can go to today?” “Should I go meet all my batch mates in Bangalore – or should that wait till the weekend?”
Amidst all these wondrous and involving thoughts can you blame for having missed out what Hyperion Enterprise Solutions did (Oh … Btw – that’s the application I was supposed to support moving forward!)
5 0 clock approaches, and Savita calls it a day. I hire a taxi (Diapro policy allowed me to do that – and I wasn’t gonna miss a chance to loot them bone dry!) and she hitch hikes a lift. En route home, I have another go at making chit-chat with her. And thankfully - this time around, she aint as bitchy as she was in the morning!
I got around to asking her about her family, how her pay stack was, how life was at Diapro the last 3 yrs, etc.
Another grueling 50 mins later, I drop her off at her hostel and head home. Once home, I called a colleague of mine called Srivatsan.
Let me give you a little info on Srivatsan. I met the little bastard for the first time during our Induction Program at Diapro. We ended up in the same training batch and since we shared similar thoughts and views on most topics (read as – “How ugly and bitchy Diapro girls were!”) – We became great friends!
He was a pretty cool person to hang out with. With him around – time flew (as did cigarette packs). And so, he was obviously the first person I wanted to meet up with at Bangalore.
Ok … enough about Srivatsan. Back to my story!
Me: “Dae Mamaa … Sharath here da !”
Srivatu: “Dae … when did u land her u bastard?”
Me: “Today morning macha … Howz u been u lousy fuck?”
Srivatu: “Good … Very good … What about you …”
Me: “I’m great bro … Hey – howz about we meet up today evening? Wat say?”
Srivatu: “Sure thing man … Forum – 8 o clock?”
Me: “Where is this place man?”
Srivatu: “Just get into an auto and ask them to take you to The Forum. Every auto wallah knows it. Don’t worry!”
Me: “Cool … It’s a date then!”
Srivatu: “Date … I aint gay u bloody bugger!!!”
Me: “Me neither … Besides – you’re not my style!”
Srivatu: “In your dreams u silly bastard … In your dreams!!!”
Me: “Ha ha ha ha … same old Srivatu …”
Srivatu: “Ha ha ha … Same old Sharath … Nice to see you here man …”
Me: “The pleasure I’m sure was all mine …”
Srivatu: “You and your lame one liners… No wonder you never get laid …”
Me: “Yeah … As if you have a lot of luck with the babes …”
Srivatu: “Now that was below the belt …”
Me: “Winston Churchill said – Hit strong … Hit hard …”
Srivatu: “There he goes again … You’re NEVER getting laid u moron!!!”
Me: “Stop jinxing me you devil!!!”
Srivatu: “ha ha ha ha … touchwood … Anyways – we’ll catch up in the evening … Got some work to wrap up before that!”
Me: “Catch you at 8 bro …”
For those people who think we being overtly aggressive or rude here – think again!
We were two really good friends meeting after close to 6 months.
I’m not sure whether any girls reading this would identify with it, but, I’m sure guys definitely identify with such re-unions.
Around 8 I head over to Forum to meet Srivatu … The second I entered Forum – I was captivated by the view. Heck – Spellbound I believe is a better term for what I was seeing.
Please pardon my frequent gaping and drooling. But hey - there were more babes in this complex that there was probably in the whole of Chennai. And I was here after a “dry phase” of over 6 months. I was bound to be “hungry”, maybe even bordering “greedy” (If you know what I mean)
I catch Srivatu standing next to the elevator drooling over every other girl in the shopping complex. Not that I was anything very different from him, but at least I was being discrete about it. But Srivatu – that moron was gaping open mouthed. It was kind of the reaction you would expect from Chuck Noland (of Castaway fame) if he was suddenly teleported to the Amazon jungle (of Wonder woman fame). He was fucking drooling from the mouth.
Me: “Dae macha …”
Srivatu: “Hey Sharath … I didn’t see you man …”
Me: “I can see that!!!”
Srivatu: “You can’t blame me … She’s got bigger tits than you!!!”
Me: “Fuck you man … You bloody pervert!”
Srivatu: “Ha ha ha ha …”
That’s Srivatsan for you …
We spent the next 1 hour catching up on what had happened in each others lives over the last 6 months. A quick dinner at KFC (which btw - was delicious. Thank you Colonel Sanders) and we head to our respective homes.
Before going home, I bought a bottle of Smirnoff Triple Distilled Vodka from the FabMall store at Forum. It was just 9.00 pm. I ordinarily didn’t sleep till 12 or 1 am. That meant – I had about 4 hours to kill, and I had nothing better to do that this.
Once home, I tried to get the caretaker of the house to make me something to snack upon (I never had vodka without something to eat). Initially the guy was like “I’m sorry sir … The kitchen closes after 9 o clock!” A 10 buck commission later – “He was like – would like Onion Pakkoda or Egg Pakkoda?”
As the wise say – “The world revolves around money!” and this was a demonstration of the principle.
6 shots of vodka later, I am totally sloshed, and asleep!
Well, let me give you some perspective as what made me do that. I had been sitting in the auto for a good 20 mins and guess how much we had moved – less than a kilometer. And, to add to the agony, there were huge company buses trying to wriggle their way through a jungle of grid locked vehicles – thereby making the traffic scenarios even worse. Not that I cared about the others stuck in the traffic block, but the stupid bus right next to my rickshaw was blowing exhaust right at my face. And heck – that was not even a new Volvo bus. It was some godforsaken Ashok Leyland primate spewing out thick black smoke. For a second there I was contemplating kicking the buses driver, but when I saw him (he was a 6 foot muscular youngster) I thought I’d rather forgive him.
;)
A few MI-2 style moves from the auto driver and 40 mins later, I was at the Diapro Bangalore campus. And I must saw – I was awestruck by the sheer magnitude of the spread. I knew that it was the largest Diapro campus in India, but this was way beyond what I had imagined.
And to add to this awe, there were good looking babes practically crawling all over the place. This was a luxury I didn’t have at Diapro Chennai. The girls there made you want to cry – nothing more, nothing less!!!
“Thank you god for this wondrous opportunity!!!” With this prayer said, I headed over to SDB – 17 to meet Savita (stands for Software Development Block 17).
When I called her from the reception, she said she was on level 4, and that she would meet me at the lounge there. “Heck … she isn’t pretty anyways … who cares where she meets me!!!” With that thought, I head up for our first rendezvous.
And true to my thought, a not-so-hot babe met me at the lounge.
Me: “Savita???”
Savita: “Sharath right … Welcome to Bangalore!”
Me: “Thanks … Bangalore rocks!”
Savita: “Yeah … I know!”
Me: “You’ve been here for long?”
Savita: “Yeah … about 2 yrs now … Hey – we should be heading inside and getting started!”
Me: (thinking) “Stupid bum … I’m trying to break the ice here, and all she can think of is work … what a lame babe … Bet she doesn’t have a social life!!!”
Ok … Maybe I was thinking rude thoughts. But in my defense – I had just got here, it had hardly been 2 mins since we met, and I was taking all the effort to make chit-chat – and all she was concerned with was work? I mean – it’s not like we were doctors or nuclear scientist … We were boring software professionals!!!
“Heck – no point in fighting her. I just got here. Lets play along” and I trailed along with her in the lead.
I don’t want to get into the events of the rest of the day simply because nothing major (read as fun) happened. It was just the regular Knowledge Transition where she “taught” me about the application and the sort of work I would be doing in a month’s time. Honestly speaking – I wasn’t even listening to her. My mind was full of “other” questions – “Where do I go sight-seeing in the evening?” “Are there are hot clubs I can go to today?” “Should I go meet all my batch mates in Bangalore – or should that wait till the weekend?”
Amidst all these wondrous and involving thoughts can you blame for having missed out what Hyperion Enterprise Solutions did (Oh … Btw – that’s the application I was supposed to support moving forward!)
5 0 clock approaches, and Savita calls it a day. I hire a taxi (Diapro policy allowed me to do that – and I wasn’t gonna miss a chance to loot them bone dry!) and she hitch hikes a lift. En route home, I have another go at making chit-chat with her. And thankfully - this time around, she aint as bitchy as she was in the morning!
I got around to asking her about her family, how her pay stack was, how life was at Diapro the last 3 yrs, etc.
Another grueling 50 mins later, I drop her off at her hostel and head home. Once home, I called a colleague of mine called Srivatsan.
Let me give you a little info on Srivatsan. I met the little bastard for the first time during our Induction Program at Diapro. We ended up in the same training batch and since we shared similar thoughts and views on most topics (read as – “How ugly and bitchy Diapro girls were!”) – We became great friends!
He was a pretty cool person to hang out with. With him around – time flew (as did cigarette packs). And so, he was obviously the first person I wanted to meet up with at Bangalore.
Ok … enough about Srivatsan. Back to my story!
Me: “Dae Mamaa … Sharath here da !”
Srivatu: “Dae … when did u land her u bastard?”
Me: “Today morning macha … Howz u been u lousy fuck?”
Srivatu: “Good … Very good … What about you …”
Me: “I’m great bro … Hey – howz about we meet up today evening? Wat say?”
Srivatu: “Sure thing man … Forum – 8 o clock?”
Me: “Where is this place man?”
Srivatu: “Just get into an auto and ask them to take you to The Forum. Every auto wallah knows it. Don’t worry!”
Me: “Cool … It’s a date then!”
Srivatu: “Date … I aint gay u bloody bugger!!!”
Me: “Me neither … Besides – you’re not my style!”
Srivatu: “In your dreams u silly bastard … In your dreams!!!”
Me: “Ha ha ha ha … same old Srivatu …”
Srivatu: “Ha ha ha … Same old Sharath … Nice to see you here man …”
Me: “The pleasure I’m sure was all mine …”
Srivatu: “You and your lame one liners… No wonder you never get laid …”
Me: “Yeah … As if you have a lot of luck with the babes …”
Srivatu: “Now that was below the belt …”
Me: “Winston Churchill said – Hit strong … Hit hard …”
Srivatu: “There he goes again … You’re NEVER getting laid u moron!!!”
Me: “Stop jinxing me you devil!!!”
Srivatu: “ha ha ha ha … touchwood … Anyways – we’ll catch up in the evening … Got some work to wrap up before that!”
Me: “Catch you at 8 bro …”
For those people who think we being overtly aggressive or rude here – think again!
We were two really good friends meeting after close to 6 months.
I’m not sure whether any girls reading this would identify with it, but, I’m sure guys definitely identify with such re-unions.
Around 8 I head over to Forum to meet Srivatu … The second I entered Forum – I was captivated by the view. Heck – Spellbound I believe is a better term for what I was seeing.
Please pardon my frequent gaping and drooling. But hey - there were more babes in this complex that there was probably in the whole of Chennai. And I was here after a “dry phase” of over 6 months. I was bound to be “hungry”, maybe even bordering “greedy” (If you know what I mean)
I catch Srivatu standing next to the elevator drooling over every other girl in the shopping complex. Not that I was anything very different from him, but at least I was being discrete about it. But Srivatu – that moron was gaping open mouthed. It was kind of the reaction you would expect from Chuck Noland (of Castaway fame) if he was suddenly teleported to the Amazon jungle (of Wonder woman fame). He was fucking drooling from the mouth.
Me: “Dae macha …”
Srivatu: “Hey Sharath … I didn’t see you man …”
Me: “I can see that!!!”
Srivatu: “You can’t blame me … She’s got bigger tits than you!!!”
Me: “Fuck you man … You bloody pervert!”
Srivatu: “Ha ha ha ha …”
That’s Srivatsan for you …
We spent the next 1 hour catching up on what had happened in each others lives over the last 6 months. A quick dinner at KFC (which btw - was delicious. Thank you Colonel Sanders) and we head to our respective homes.
Before going home, I bought a bottle of Smirnoff Triple Distilled Vodka from the FabMall store at Forum. It was just 9.00 pm. I ordinarily didn’t sleep till 12 or 1 am. That meant – I had about 4 hours to kill, and I had nothing better to do that this.
Once home, I tried to get the caretaker of the house to make me something to snack upon (I never had vodka without something to eat). Initially the guy was like “I’m sorry sir … The kitchen closes after 9 o clock!” A 10 buck commission later – “He was like – would like Onion Pakkoda or Egg Pakkoda?”
As the wise say – “The world revolves around money!” and this was a demonstration of the principle.
6 shots of vodka later, I am totally sloshed, and asleep!
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