Final Destination – Bangalore

I had been asked my travel agent to get down at a place called Silk Board. Once I got down, I was to take a rickshaw to BTM Stage I. I had been booked accommodation at a service apartment somewhere there. He had assured me that it was a famous one and I would have no issues finding it.

At 5.00 am, the bus conductor wakes me up. “Sir … We’ve reached Silk Board … You wanted to get off here – right?”
I thank him for waking me up, collect my luggage and get off. I had barely gotten off the bus when I was flocked by rickshaw wallas trying to lure me to get into their auto instead of the others. I randomly picked one guys and head over to his rickshaw. I showed him the address, and he nodded saying he knew the place. Being used to the auto system in Chennai – where, by the way, the autorickshaw meters move faster than the autos themselves (thanks to having been sabotaged) – I asked him “How much for the ride?”. He says “100 bucks”. I was a little stumped on hearing the amount. But being half asleep, and under the impression that BTM Stage I is far away, I agreed to his demands.

He starts his auto, takes the first left and the next right and voila, we are in front of my service apartments. I was left wondering – “I have to pay this creep 100 bucks for this short a trip? I could’ve walked to this place! Heck – these blokes are worse than their counterparts in Chennai!!!”
But heck – it was a company reimbursed trip. What did I care if he siphoned off 100 bucks from me? It was Diapro’s money at the end of the day. With that thought I handed over 100 bucks and headed up my room.

My room turned out to be a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge one. It came with a cupboard, a TV, an A/C, a table, a king sized bed, et al. I was blown over by the sort of luxurious treatment that was being meted to me. I was finally beginning to experience some sort of a respect or happiness of working for Diapro.

But, at that moment panic struck me. Oh … you’re probably wondering why. Let me take a minute to explain why!

As per Diapro policies, when a person travels on a company trip, he/she will be given a cash advance of a MAXIMUM of Rs. 5000/-. The remaining has to be paid from his pocket, and if he is lucky – as I would soon find out – and only then is he reimbursed for it.

The Diapro justification to the above policy was, “We pay the actuals’ of the expenses incurred during the trip. And if you provide us with bills for the same – we will refund the same!”
But, every Tom, Dick and Harry in the company knew that the actual reason for this was– “Instead of giving him money, I will make him spend money. And once he does that, I will refund only part of the total amount – citing various policies and practices as to why “xyz” expense can not be covered under the corporate reimbursement policy! And this way – It’s his headache to get the money from us, not ours to get the money from him!”

Sadly, naïve as I was when I joined company, I wasn’t aware of the corporate conspiracy behind this whole policy – and I fell for it!!!


So, going back to where I started, the Rs. 5000/-. I had been allotted a referral guest house for my stay at Bangalore. And the charge was supposed to be Rs. 1600/-.
Since they hadn’t mentioned whether this was for a day or for the 15 days I was supposed to be there, I comfortably assumed the latter.
In my defense, I came from a college where we paid 300 rupees per month as room rent. And since this was a guest house of the company – I had no reason to believe that they would charge the cost center for anything more than the maintenance fees.

Again – Another one of my stupid and costly mistakes!!!


Well … Back to Bangalore and my big and kick ass room! So – I had come to Bangalore with 5000 bucks, and I was staring at a room for which I would have to pay a rent of Rs. 1600 /- per day.
My mind was thinking – “Wow … You just landed in Bangalore, and you got your arse whipped here too!!!”

But, I knew that something could be worked out. Worst-come-worst-case I’d have to take a loan from one of my friends/roomies. No big deal. So – that said and done, I head for a quick shave and shower.

I check my watch. It says 7.00 am. Time to call Savita’s and ask her for directions to the office.

(Tring … Tring … Tring …)
Savita: “Hello …”
Me: “Hi Savita … Sharath here …”
Savita: “Oh hi … you’ve landed already kya?”
Me: “Oh yes … as a matter of fact I landed at 5 am itself. I didn’t want to disturb you that’s why I didn’t call you till now.”
Savita: “Oh no worries … I’m already at office!”

I was stunned. What sort of an idiot goes to office at this time of the day? Not only is this girl un-attractive, but, she also turned out to be a stupid nerd! Just my luck!!!

Me: “So early???”
Savita: “Oh yeah … We have an early morning bus … I generally take that!”
Me: “Well … I’m still at home. I think I’ll need a good hour plus to get there. I hope that’s ok?”
Savita: “Sure … No hurries … Give me a call when you get here. I am in building 17, 4th floor.”
Me: “Cool … I’ll see you – hopefully – in another hour”
Savita: “Fine then … Bye!”
Me: “Have a nice day … Bye!”

And I got off the phone.


I ask the caretaker of the guest house for directions to the office, and thanks to the fact that this guest office had seen many Diapro guests, he asked me to take a rickshaw to our Electronic City.

Me: “How far is it from here?”
Caretaker: “About 12 kms sir …”

Oh … Oh … That’s bad news. I was charged 100 bucks for a 25 feet trip in the morning. If I travel 12 kms, I might have to sell of my kidney to pay for the rickshaw. Heck – I’d even have to sell off the caretakers kidneys!!!

Me: “The autos here, are the expensive?”
Caretaker: “No sir … You only need to pay the meter charge!”
Me: “But I was charged 100 bucks for the trip from Silk Board to the guest house today morning!”
Caretaker: “Sir … In the mornings and after 10 pm they charge exorbitant rates!”
Me: “Oh … Like that eh … Cool … Thanks for the inputs man … I owe you one!”
Caretaker: “It is my duty sir …”

With a smile, I head out for my first day at Diapro Bangalore. Heck – I am lying - I didn’t a damn about reaching office on time. What I wanted was to get out on the streets and see all those IT professional chicks - which Bangalore was so famous for – before they got on their company buses and left!

The climate was pleasant, and as soon as I hit the main road I could see hordes of babes moving around. All sizes, all shapes, all ages, all colors. “Man … The hype was 101% true … This was babe central …” Finally, lady luck was smiling at me.


I quickly hire a rickshaw and head to my office. Savita would be waiting for me.

Jan 1st 2006 – Even the longest and the most screwed up years start with the first day!

Around 8.30 am, I got up. More like – I had to get up! Suji’s (short for Sujitha) had gotten up, and like every kid his age, the first thing he did was wake the whole family up.

I was surprised to see Suji sitting there on the sofa and smiling that really sweet smile of hers.
Suji: “Good morning da … Slept well?”
Me: “Yeah … Really well … How come you’re up so early?”
Suji: “Well … I’m used to getting up early. And btw – Happy New Year da!”
Me: “Happy New year to you too sweets … Where’s Kakku and Ayyub?”
Suji: “Those lazy bums haven’t gotten up yet!”

Another 5 minutes later, I saw Kakku and Ayyub in the hall. Clearly, Omm had visited their room as well. Sally and Hasna had joined us as well. By this time auntie had come into the hall holding a tray of coffee and tea for the whole group.

I exchanged another round of “Good Mornings” and “Happy New Year” with the rest of the crew and headed off to the washroom to clean up.

After our coffees, I lean over to Suji’s ear and whisper “Dude … Do u have any idea how off u were yesterday?”
Suji: “Really … I don’t remember anything da!”
Me: “Don’t worry sweets … I have everything on video … I took the liberty yesterday …”

Saying this I flip fish out my cell phone and hand it over to Suji. An obviously puzzled and curious Suji starts watching the video. Another 5 mins later, she was all smiles.

Suji: “Wow … I didn’t know alcohol could do this to people.”
Me: “You’re a first timer Na … No worries … You will improve over time … I promise!”
Suji: “Well … I’m looking forward to that …”


One thing I could say for sure - after the experience the previous night – Me, Suji, Ayyub, and Kakku were going to be really good friends for life. Heck – It was a wonderful New Year after all!

After a sumptuous breakfast, I decided to head to my aunts place. I had promised them that I’d be there by lunch time and that we would dine together. After thanking auntie and Suji for their hospitality and for letting me stay the night, I head over to my house to clean up.


After a quick shower and change of clothes, I head over to my aunts place. Oh before I forget – Jabar had not yet returned. I bet he was at his girls place. “The lucky bastard…” I thought before heading out.


Once at my aunt’s place, I wished everyone – my sis, uncle and auntie – a Very Happy New Years’, and they reciprocated in kind. Once the initial hungama settled down, my aunt started off with her interrogation
Auntie: “Where were you yesterday?”
Me: “I was invited to dinner by a few friends from work.”
Auntie: “And …”
Me: “I went over had dinner with those guys and came back home”
Auntie: “Hmmmm … So you didn’t go to any club or bar yesterday?”

Obviously I had expected these questions from her, and I had rehearsed my answers on my ride from my place to hers.

Me: “Ayooooooeee … Why would you think I’d do that? Those places are extremely expensive to go to, and I’m not stupid to go there!”
Auntie: “Don’t lie to me da …”
Me: “Seriously auntie … Why would I lie to you. I work at Diapro remember. I don’t earn enough to party at these so called clubs.”

That did it. She decided to call it quits.
Maybe that last statement was the debate winner. Or for all you know - maybe she wasn’t very bothered about where I was the previous night. But heck – the interrogation had ended, and I wasn’t about to incite another round of it by clarifying the same with her.


My sis – who I confided in – leans over and started her interrogation
Sis: “Where were you yesterday?”
Me: “I was at a friends place … My roomie was there at home … So – I went over to her place to spend New Years”
Sis: “HER???”
Me: “Oh … don’t worry … she’s married, and she had a kid!”
Sis: (Obviously relieved) “Oh … then no problems!”
Me: “I had a fun time … We had dinner … We all got together for a movie after that … wished each other Happy New Year and then crashed!” I lied.
Sis: “Oh that’s nice …”

I felt guilty lying to her. I’m a little protective about my friends, and I didn’t want Suji to look like a bad person in front of them. So, I had to lie. It didn’t make me feel good, and I knew I was going to hell for it – but I lied. But hey - In my defense I’d like to quote Winston Churchill “A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do”.

Enough of this melodrama!!! Let’s move on!

An eventless half-day later, I started packing for my trip - that night - to Bangalore.

As per the Diapro travel policies, I was eligible for a Volvo A/C Sleeper Bus tickets, or a 2nd A/C Train tickets for my travel. I had chosen the former. Why? It was the more expensive one. And I simply wanted to get as much out of this trip - and Diapro for that matter - as possible. Hey – In my defense, they were paying me peanuts as salary, and there was no such thing as a job satisfaction. Hence, this was my way of getting revenge!


So, at around 10 pm, I head over to Koyambeddu bus terminus (that’s where I was supposed to board my bus). The auto rickshaws of Chennai are most famous for two things
1. Meters that spins faster than their autos move.
2. The mind boggling – exorbitant even – rates they charge.
And true to their reputation, I was charged 100 bucks for a 4 kms trip. But heck - It was the first time I was traveling by an A/C sleeper bus, and frankly, I was very excited about the whole deal.
I must say, I was very pleased with the sort of facilities and comfort the bus offered. The only disadvantage to it – V/S its train counterpart – was that there were no toilets.
In the event I wanted to take a leak, I had to do it in open air. But hey – I was a guy and let’s call it One-of-the-Perks-of-being-born-as-a-guy – “The world is your toilet!” So, as per me, it wasn’t a major disadvantage at all.

So, I settle down for a nice well deserved sleep. Tomorrow morning, Bangalore!!!