Can I have some money please?

If you go back a couple of chapters, you might recall that I was talking about the dilemma I was facing - About not having enough money to pay for my guest house. Well, let me continue on that.

On Day 2 of stay at Bangalore – I was too much in awe of being in Bangalore on Day 1 that I completely forgot about it on Day 1 – I realized I need to talk to Pak about this financial pothole I had got myself into. So, I decided to send him an e-mail. This is how my e-mail went.



Dear Pak,
Hope this mail finds you in the best of cheers!

This is with regards to the travel advance disbursed to me for my relocation to Bangalore. As you are aware, I have been given Rs. 5000/- as cash advance for my visit to Bangalore.
I would like to bring to your attention that I have been given accommodation in a referral guest house which charges me Rs. 1600/- on a per day basis. Given this background, and that I have to be here for a period of 13 days, the rental cost alone would amount to Rs. 20,800/-. Ergo, please authorize the disbursement of a sum of Rs. 20,000/- to aid me in paying the costs incurred for this official trip.

Looking forward to hearing from you shortly!


With Best Regards,
Sharath Kumar R



And this is the reply I got from him:


Sharath,
Use your Credit Card!

- Pak



I think to myself - “What a sick bastard … I ask him for money, and he tells me to use my credit cards! As such Diapro never pays even my salary on time. Now, if I make all my payments for this trip on my credit card, and as sure as hell – Diapro will delay the re-imbursement of the same, then I end up paying 3 % of my outstanding as interest charges!”


On that thought, I bring up a Microsoft Excel Worksheet and do some quick math to see what my expenses for this trip would sum up to.

Food	1500
Rent	21000
Travel	3000
Telephone	500
	26000

That immediately gets me thinking - “Oh Shit … 3 % of Rs. 26000/- is Rs. 780 /-. No chance is hell I’m taking on that sort of damage. And that too for this fuck all company!!! “


By this time I had decided, I was not going to use my cards and I knew that the best course of action was to call Pak and tell him about it. But, I couldn’t tell him the real reason for my not wanting to use my cards – could I!
But, the scheming genius that I am, I had a plan … A master plan!!!
Muhahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!


I picked up the VOIP phone and dialed Pak’s number in Chennai (Oh … For those wondering what VOIP stands for – It means Voice Over Internet Protocol. It’s a technology IT companies everywhere use to make dirt cheap STD/ISD calls to clients/onsite teams. Btw – It’s the same resource IT employees – me included – “mis”use to call friends in the US and ask them how this weeks visit to the strip club went!)


Pak: “Hello …”
Me: “Hi Pak … Sharath here …”
Pak: “Hi … How you doing?”
Me: “Great … Thank you!”
Pak: “So … What did you call about?”
Me: “Pak … It’s about the e-mail I sent you earlier today.”
Pak: “Oh yes … The money disbursement eh!”
Me: “Yeah …”
Pak: “Well … Like I said in my e-mail earlier … Use your credit card. It’s got many benefits you see …”

With that statement, he proceeded on to explain the benefits of having a credit card. For the next 5 mins, I was wondering – “Am I talking to my Program Manager or a freaking Credit Card Sales Man???”

5 mins later, when he thinks he’s done convincing me, he gives me a chance to speak

Me: “Pak … I don’t have a credit card!”
Pak: “What?”
Me: “I said – I don’t have a credit card!”
Pak: “Oh shucks … That sucks!”
Me: “Yeah … Now you know why I need the money!”
Pak: “Sure … Raise a request for the same – I’ll approve it later today.”
Me: “Thanks Pak … I’ll raise the request right away!”
Pak: “Is there anything else you needed from me?”
Me: “Naaa … Thanks for your time … Bye!”
Pak: “Yeah … Bye!”


I had won the argument … Yahooooooooooooo!!! Once I had the money in my bank, I’d pay using my credit card anyways. I thought to myself “You’re a smart arse Sharath …”
;-)