New Years 2006 – JACKED with a capital J !!!

Pak had informed me that my KT was to start on 2-Jan-2006. In the enthusiasm to go to Bangalore, I had agreed. But, it was only when I came back home that I realized that this meant my New Year plans would be jacked.

I had planned to go home to Cochin for the weekend and spend the New Years celebrating with mom and dad. It was nothing phenomenal. All we did – every year at New Years – was go to a club called the “Rama Varma Club” in cochin, sit through some boring Orchestra sessions, watch a few of the older member uncles get drunk and make a fool of themselves on. If you’re wondering how that happens – well, try drinking a lot of whisky and then get your friends to convince you that you are a good singer. The next thing you’ll know (read as – what you’ll hear from your friends/family/wife) is that you stumbled up on stage, snatched the mike from the singer onstage and then started singing some number from the 60’s in a completely drunk stupor. At his expense, we all had a good laugh.
But, the whole idea behind the exercise of spending New Years at my parents’ house was just to keep them happy. Ever since I went to college, I’ve never been able to make it any of the Keralaite functions like Onam, Vishu, Diwali, etc. And this was my way of making amend. Think of it as my 10 cents towards keeping that big smile on mom and dad’s face.

But now, thanks to these new plans, I had to cancel on that!
:-(

With a heavy heart I call up mom and dad and explain to them that I won’t be able to make it for new years’ this year. It was obvious that they were upset. But as dad put – “All we want is the best for you. And there is no chance in hell you’re screwing up your career to come to Cochin. New Year will come next year also. We’ll party then!”

In those 2 mins, the tables had turned. I had called thinking I’d have to console my parents about having to cancel our New Year plans, and now – Dad was telling me “Don’t worry son … Everything is going to be alright!”
But heck – that’s what makes them the best parents ever. Mom and dad – You two Rock!!!

There was no chance in hell I was going to spend 31st in the train. Call me superstitious if you must – but the last time I did that – I ended up having a screwed up year. I broke my leg. Dad grounded me on more than one occasion (something he never ever does, unless I’m beating the shit out of my brother and he happens to see it “live”), I had my cycle given away to some idiot at dad’s office - because dad caught me trying to race with a paandi lorry … (you get the general idea!)

So, to avoid such a “bad” year again, I had specifically instructed the travel desk to get me tickets for 1-Jan-2006. It was a Sunday, and since I’d get to Bangalore by around 5 am, I could easily make it to work. And to Pak, it meant reduced billing to the account (if you didn’t know – the Pespi account would have to bear my living expenses whilst I was in Bangalore on relocation) – so he gladly agreed.


Now, with that settled, I needed something to do for new years. John, Sanju, Thommi, GayM and Binna were heading to their respective homes on the 27th of Dec itself. That left me with Jabar.

There were two reasons I didn’t prefer that.
1. He never boozed (“I’m a Muslim, and so I am not allowed to booze!” is what he always came up with in his defense. But the million dollar question we roomies asked him was – “You have affairs with all the sluttish girls in your office. That’s not very Muslim like is it! But when we ask you to join us for a drink you always give us this stupid excuse eh!” But – charming as he was – he always gave us a stupid grin and the topic was dropped). And since he didn’t booze, it wasn’t going to be any fun to hit a New Years party with him.
2. That bloke already had a date (Dates is more like it) for New Years.


That left me in a dilemma. The only other choice I had was to spend New Years’ at my uncles and aunts place. And that - to me atleast - was torture personified. Come on – think of it … My uncle would ask me to switch the TV off at 9.30, and at 10.00 pm – if I hadn’t slept by then – I’d get a solid 30 min lecture on why the children of my generation was going to hell!!!
Not a very pretty way of spending New Years’ eh!

So, in a confused and despair filled stupor, I called one of my closest friends Sumitha.

Let me take a diversion here from the main story and take a moment to explain how me and Sumitha met and became such good friends.


We had a mallu (short for Malayali) group at Diapro. And the members were pretty cool (read as fun to talk to). And since I had nothing important to do, I had dedicated my time to network with them and make new friends.
So, It was just another day at work, and (as always) I was googling for something or the other when I get this forward from someone called Sumitha. Her name struck me. It was not something you hear every day. I looked her up on the Diapro People Portal (christened “Finder” by Diapro) and what I saw was a reasonably attractive lady smiling away to glory.
Instincts kicked in and before you knew it – I had sent her a reply.

The usual crappy pick up lines - “Hi … How are you … I am from Cochin … Where are u from …”.
And I think she was equally jobless, because within 2 mins, I received the reply to that mail.
We exchanged a few more mails, and that’s when I asked her to come online for a chat. She – being jobless to the core, like most fellow Diapro’ites – acceded.

One thing led to the other, and I suggested that we meet for a juice at the office canteen in another 30 mins. I dunno whether it’s because I am “that good” or whether it was because she was in the mood for a juice – but she agreed.
But, somehow, something about marriage came up during our chat and I told her – “You should invite me to ur marriage when it happens!”

She was like – “Ayyoooo … I am already married and I have a kid!”

I was like – “Fuck you Sharath … you wasted your time – AGAIN!!! And this time – she’s not only married, she also has a KID!!! Your juice ka paisa Goooooovindaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

But, heck, I had already invited her for a juice. And it was too late to back off. Atleast I’ve made a new friend (sounds a tad like the good ol “Grapes and the Fox” story eh!)

That’s how we met. From that meeting, our friendship grew leaps and bounds. She was cool to hang out with, and I had realized had a made a gold mine of a discovery for a friend.


Now, back to main story …


So, its 31st Dec, around 7 pm. I don’t have a date, my house is empty, and I shudder at the thought of having to go to my uncles’ place and spend the New Years’ there. I was thinking – I’d rather sit alone at home, play some music and get drunk here rather than go over there.

With this depressing thought, I decided to call up Sumitha. Atleast I should wish her before the networks jam.

I explained the shit-hole I was in, and she coolly suggested – “Why don’t you join us for New Year?”
Me: “What???”
Sumitha: “Yeah … Why don’t you … Me, Amma, Omm, Kakku, Ayyub, Sally and Hasna will be there. It’ll be cool if you join us …”

Omm was Sumitha’s 8 month old son, Kakku was Sumitha’s younger sister, Ayyub was Kakku's hubby, Sally and Hasna were two of her closest friends. And I was honored that she had thought of me as close enough to invite to such a private party.

Me: “Are you sure … I don’t want to barge into a family thingy you see!”
Sumitha: “Are you nuts … And what’s with the formality? Something the matter?”
Me: “No da … Just trying not to end up as an pain-in-the-arse for your family outing”
Sumitha: “Shut up fool … So – we’ll be going to Kabab Court on ECR. Why don’t you join us in another 30 mins?”
Me: “Wow … thanks for the invite man. You just saved my day!”
Sumitha: “No sweat …”
Me: “But sweety … Is there anything else planned for the after-dinner session? I don’t want to remain sober on New Years’ ever” I asked with a mischievous note.
Sumitha: “You come over da … It’ll be worth your while …” She said with an equally mischievous note


And so, it was settled. I was going to celebrate New Years’ with Sumitha family…


I take 20 mins to call up all my friends and family member and wish them a Happy New Year in advance. The justification I gave was – “The network will be jammed at mid night. That’s why!” when in reality I meant – “I don’t know how drunk I will be then, so – I’m doing all the wishing well in advance!”
:D

A quick shower, some hair gel, and I am off to Kabab Court… I didn’t go 1 km when I got stuck in a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge traffic block. It was New Years’ eve, and all the happening parties were happening on all the private beaches along ECR. All these cars were heading over. Well … No use complaining – there is no other option but to wait.
Thankfully, Sumitha’s car was also caught up in traffic. So – I didn’t have to worry about standing them up!
Another gruesome 35 mins pass, and I manage to find a parking spot at Kabab Court. (ordinarily, it would’ve taken my 5 mins to get there)

Still a little apprehensive about having to barge into her families thunder, I enter the restaurant and look around for Sumitha.
“Sharath … Over here …”
Tracing the source of the voice, I found Sumitha – and the rest of the crew - sitting at the corner table – almost hidden from view.

Heck, I had come this far, Its too late to feel remorse for having trashed her party…
Sumitha introduces me to her mom, Kakku and Ayyub, Hasna and Sally (Oh … I forgot to mention, before this date, I hadn’t met any of them). I greet them with a pleasant smile and sit down.

I saw Sumitha’s son playing at her lap. In a fraction of a second an idea struck me – “The best way to break the ice is to start playing with her kid. That way everyone will think I’m a nice guy!”

So, I take her son in my lap and start making all sorts of weird sounds. People who’re reading this and think I’m weird – “Hey … this is what they do in the movies …” Besides, I didn’t have too much experience around kids. The only kid I knew was my niece Neha, and she was hardly 2 months old. So – in my defense, yet again I claim – I am new to handling small kids!

What the heck – back to story.

So here I am trying to make the baby smile et al. The people around the table were giving me an appreciative glance, and I was thinking at the back of my head – “Its working!!!”.
That’s when, Omm reached out for the soup bowl on my table. And as you’d have guessed it – the bloody soup toppled – onto my lap.

I had two options, drop the kid and clean the soup. Or hold the kid, and let the scorching burn on my thighs burn on. Obviously, I couldn’t drop the kid. It just wasn’t the sane thing to do. It’d make me look like one of those creepy “serial killer” in the movies AND more importantly - get kicked out of this party. So, without a choice, I held on to Omm and let the soup burn my thighs.

Thankfully, Kakku, who was right next to me, took Omm from my hand giving me a chance to mop my soiled pants. “WTF … It was a brand new pair of jeans … And that too Lee Cooper!!!”

A moment later I thought to myself - “What the hell… It was not as if he did it on purpose… Besides, he’s just a small baby … And hey – on the positive side – Ice Breaking session was 101% successful. People here love me!”

With that victorious feeling in mind, I excused myself to the men’s room, cleaned up and came back. And guess what – Aunty (Sumitha’s mom) was offering me her bowl of soup. She went like – “You didn’t even get to have a sip … Here … Take mine … It tastes good you know!”

I wasn’t a stranger anymore. I was being treated like family. “Woooooooooooooow!!! Thanks Omm … You just made my day!”


And after a tasty, sumptuous, fun-filled, chat-laden dinner, we head home for the after party.


Its only when I went home with them, I realized that Sally and Hasna were room mates. They stayed on the ground floor, whereas Sumitha stayed on the 4th floor.

We all headed up to Sumitha’s apartments’, and there we chit-chat for about 30 mins. (We didn’t want Aunty to suspect we were up to no good did we!)
;-)

After about 30 mins pass, Sumitha eyed me and Ayyub to go get the bottles. I signaled Ayyub and we both left. We told Aunty, “We’re going for a quick stroll …”
I’m not sure whether she understood what was on our minds, or she was indeed so naïve to believe that we were probably going for a stroll – but she didn’t even raise an eyebrow.

Together, me and Ayyub head over to the TASMAC shop (as it is called in Tamil Nadu) to buy Vodka.
Its not like I fancied vodka, but since the ladies were beginners (except Sally – who was a veteran in this field), we settled for it.

Since Ayyub had paid for the dinner, I wanted to sponsor the bottles. After a little bit of insisting on my part, he agreed.
A couple of bottles of Limca, Soda and Sprite and we were good to head back.

Obviously, we couldn’t take the drinks up to Sumitha’s place. Aunty would probably throw us all out. So, we decided to stash the stuff at Sally’s place and come back for em later into the night.

I headed up to get the apartment keys from Sally, and Ayyub stood guard downstairs. 10 mins later, we had stashed the stuff into her fridge and were back at Sumitha’s.

Everyone got together and we spent the next hour chatting about a lot of topics, ranging from the screwed up company that Diapro was to our futures, etc, etc, etc …

Around 11.00 clock, Omm and Aunty pucker up and head to the bedroom to sleep. We – Ayyub, myself, Kakku, Sally, Hasna – excuse ourselves saying we want to stay up till the stroke of 12 and head over to Sally’s apartments. Sumitha said she’d join us once Omm and mom was asleep.

Heck, I didn’t care if she came. If she didn’t – it just meant more Vodka for me. If she came – It meant more masti. After all – as the wise say – “The more the merrier!”
It was a win-win situation for me.

Once at Sally’s place, we run around to get everything in order – glasses, snacks, ice-cubes, paper, ashtrays, etc. For the non-drinkers out there – just so that you know - It’s a lot of work to organize a party. But hey – It’s worth every bit of it!
:)

Somehow, once everything was ready, I suggested that we wait for Sumitha. After all – It was she who had invited me over. And besides - she wanted to “start” boozing.

Another 20 mins later – Sumitha knocks on the door, and voila the party began!


The first-timers, Hasna and Sumitha, were very enthralled about the whole deal. The looks on their faces was the same as that you’d see on a 6 yr old when you got him his first cycle. I poured them both a large vodka, topped their glasses with Sprite.
Ayyub and me, on the other hand, preferred Vodka with Limca.
Sally – being the veteran that she was – proceeded to pour herself a double large, added some ice and some vodka.
We muttered cheers (as is the custom before drinking) and the party was officially kick started. Another 20 mins later, Sumitha, Sally and Hasna had already washed down 2 rounds each. Hasna was sitting in one corner – silent as silent can be. Whereas Sally and Sumitha – well they were making complete jokers of themselves.

It was an ecstatic visual treat - Watching Sumitha muttering all sorts of nonsensical glib. Me and Ayyub – we were still on round 1 – were thoroughly enjoying ourselves.

Well … For those who are very sharp and give importance to detail, they must’ve realized by now that I haven’t talked about Kakku in this party. Well, its for good reason. Kakku was 8 months pregnant around that time. And hence – we had forbid her from boozing. So – she was busy sitting in one corner finishing off all the chicken fry we had bought.

Another 20 mins, and the clock struck mid-night. “Yahooooooooo … 2006 is here!”
We exchanged hugs and wishes and continued with the boozing. By now, Sumitha and Sally were flat out. Sumitha could hardly stand, Sally was dancing, and even the so-far silent Hasna was opening up and muttering some nonsense.
Poor Ayyub and me… We had just got onto our second round of drinks and by then the bottle was over. The girls had emptied it.
So much for getting drunk and passing out… But bottom line – It was better to have everyone around you drunk rather than getting drunk yourself.

“Kudos to all you wonderful people … “

Another 30 mins later the party was officially over (read as there was no more Vodka or Chicken left!).
Sumitha being too drunk to walk slept on the couch. Sally and Hasna went to their rooms. I went upstairs – to Sumitha’s flat – along with Ayyub and Kakku.