In a record 20 mins I reached my office. Ordinarily, I drive at around 60 kmph. But that day, I was in such a big hurry t get to work and see my pay-slip that I pushed my bike to limit. I was driving around 95 kmph (atleast that was what the speedo told me).
I hastily parked my bike, and rush to my computer and power it on (Diapro had a “Please reboot your machines everyday!” policy. And since I was relatively new to the company, I followed rules. Another 2 months down the road, the only reasons I rebooted my machine were ‘A Computer Crash’, ‘To install pirated software’). And guess what – The stupid machine was taking forever to boot.
Not that I was only used to fast computers (the comp at home was a pre-historic raccoon. An Intel P – III (1Ghz), with 128 MB RAM and its best boot time was 5 minutes!), but I was so eager to check out my pay-slip that I was cussing away to glory (read as swearing at the computer’s mom and dad!!!). Thankfully, in another 2 mins it spluttered to life and in another 30 secs, I was looking at my Pay-Slip. A little later, Meenraj (who was always among the first people to filter into work – mainly because he stayed a stone’s throw from work) saw me staring at my screen, and asked me – “Dae … What’re you so staring so intently at man?”
Knowing me, he must’ve expected me to be oogling over some forward of some naked chick. That would explain why a person who ordinarily turned up post 9.30 was at work before 8.30. Heck - since there was a chick involved, and esp a naked one, Meen (aka Meenraj) heads over to my cube.
A sec later, even his face was contorted in shock.
Meen: “Dae … What the hell is this da …”
Me: “Payslip …”
Meen: “But, where did the rest of the money go!”
Me: “Who the hell knows … Grrrrrrrrrrrr … I was better of getting a stipend. Atleast I used to get 9500 in hand!”
Meen: “Dae … Let me check my pay slip!!!”
A sec later “Dae … I also got something like that itself!”
Me: “Ha ha ha ha ha … Mammaa … You’re also fucked eh!!!”
The second the realization hit me that I was not alone in this (sinking) ship, I cheered up. Call it minority spirit or even sadism. But, it didn’t feel so bad after all. After all, I was not being ostracized alone!
Meen: “Dae … What are we going to do?”
Me: “I don’t know about you, but I’m going to eat something. I’m hungry!”
Meen: “But what about the payslip … Salary?”
Me: “Well … We’ve signed a bond for 75K na. Maybe they expect me to quit after seeing this stupid pay-slip. That way they’ll get to keep my 75K. Oh hell no …”
Meen: “Dae … U really think so?”
Me: “Balls I do #$%#$% … I’m just waiting for the other to come in, to find out what’s the scenario with them”
Meen: “Sounds like a plan … Let go get something to eat in the meanwhile!”
Me: “Sure …”
Another 20 mins later, when we head back to ODC, as expected we see a couple of shell shocked faces – Prema, and Ram. They come running to us and tell us “Dae … Did u see the pay-slips … We haven’t got the money as stated on the offer letter!”
I retorted with a “Grrrrrrrr … Tell me something I don’t know Ram!!!”
So, we all head out for cup of coffee and a gossip session as to what could be the reason for the rest of cash to just disappear!
Now, most of you folks will be wondering, why are all these people getting so angered and flustered by their pay slips. After all, they’re working at Diapro, the second largest IT major in the country. Seriously, such a company would be fair in all its practices. Well, before we move any forward, I would like to show you how my offer letter depicted my salary stack, and how my first salary pay-slip looked:
Offer Letter
BASIC 5100.00SPLALLW 500.00HRA 2040.00COMMUTATION 800.00WBP 5340.00QPLC 1700.00MEDCLAIM 325.00PF 612.00 Pay-Slip
This Statement is best viewed in Courier New Font size '8' DIAPRO TECHNOLOGIESA Division of Diapro Limited MONTH/YEAR : SEPTEMBER 2005 ATTD : 30EMPCODE : 111500 PF NO. : KN/11394/007NAME : SHARATH KUMAR R GENDER : MALELOCATION : CHENNAIMODE : BANK A/c No.: TBI - 30008960000 LOAN BALANCE: 18000 NETPAY : 8841 EARNINGS REGULAR ARREARS DEDUCTIONS BASIC 1870.00 0.00 LOANS 2000.00COMMUTATION 293.00 0.00 MBS 5.00GRPALLW 1958.00 0.00 MEDCLAIM 120.00HRA 748.00 0.00 PF 224.00SPLALLW 183.00 0.00 PT 195.00STIPEND 6333.00 0.00 ---------------------------------------------------------------------TOTAL: 11385.00 0.00 TOTAL 2544.00--------------------------------------------------------------------- Note:** IT Projection will be available in BEDWEB by 5th of OCTOBER ** Please do not respond to this mail and route your queries through Q&A in BEDWEB Now, given this background, wouldn’t you agree that each one of us had every reason and right to be angry if not furious?
Thanks for agreeing!!!
So, back to coffee break and our discussion session on why our pay stack was all jacked up …
Meen: “Dae … Does anyone have any idea what happened?”
Me: “Oh yes … We just got looted in broad daylight!”
Ram: “Shut up man … Seriously, Prema … Any ideas?”
Prema: (On the verge of a nervous breakdown) “No … (sob … sob …)”
Me: “Why don’t we shoot out a mail to Sangya Sinha? She’s the HR head for Chennai location. Maybe she’ll help us out with this issue. And besides, she’s pretty cute … So – It’s gonna be worth our while anyways!”
Ram: “U idiot … Can u stop thinking for girls for one sec atleast?”
Me: “Well … I just lost money … Atleast I wanna score with ladies … Can you blame me for being an optimist?”
Meen: “Opportunist … that’s more like it!!!”
Me: “Whatever man! She’s hot, I’m broke and fat … What else can go wrong?”
Prema: “Well … She’s married!!!”
Me: “Oh … shit … anything but that … are u sure?”
Prema: “Yup …”
Me: “Meen … I don’t wanna hit on some married chick … You send her that e-mail … My life is getting more and more arse fucked by the second! First no money … and now the hot chick I wanted to hit on is married! Grrrrrrrrrrr … Why is it always me?”
Everyone obviously had a good laugh at my melodramatic performance. And that was precisely what I wanted anyways!
Me: “Meen … On a serious note – why don’t you check with one of the seniors here and ask them about this discrepancy. I’m sure they’ll be able to explain it to us. You’re chums with Lakshmi and Ramesh. Get the info out of them!”
Meen: “Sure … I’ll ask them right away!”
We all finish off our coffees (which has become cold by now), and head back to our cubes. Now, the only thing left to do was for Meen to come back to us with the data.
Another 10 mins later, and Meen signals for a coffee break. Me, Prema and Ram are all the more willing to join him – Not out of a desire to have a coffee – but more out of the desire to get to the bottom of the mystery of our missing salary!
Meen: “Dae mama … I checked with Lakshmi … He says – this is how it works here!”
(I was obviously not ready to accept that. Heck – It was equivalent to taking it lying down!)
Me: “Care to explain in a little bit more detail?”
Meen: “Well … I showed him my pay-slip and he told me that the only component that was missing was our QPLC (Quarterly Performance Linked Composition). And as the name states – we will get it only once per quarter.”
Me: (catching on) “Oh … yes … the QPLC component … That’s about 1700 bucks. Mystery solved … Elementary my dear Watson!”
It was obvious that none of these blokes had read Sherlock Holmes, as they were giving me really weird expressions when I made that last statement. But, heck – I didn’t want to spoil the moment by explaining the joke to them. Right now – It was the time to celebrate. We had just found out that our 1700 bucks was indeed coming back to us, albeit a little delayed, we were all up in spirits. Another joke of two later, we all head back to work.
But little did I know – that at the end of the quarter, when I was supposed to get my QPLC component, another nasty surprise was awaiting me!
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